empty

After writing 9,o00 words for my senior project in the last few weeks, my brain is empty of things to say here.  Excuse me while I search for a creative outlet.  Off to doodle and read Don Miller.  He always gets my creativity flowing. Even though our political ideologies don’t line up.

On another note, I feel empty of wisdom right now. A friend and I have been having some pretty heavy spiritual conversations lately, and I just feel pretty dry on answers.  Please pray for our conversations!

get it all out

Tonight I am back at Higher Groundz, one of my favorite coffee shops in SLO.  It is a good place to study.  I should be studying, what with the French midterm tomorrow, the senior project introduction due Friday.  

But I need to write something in my native language.  So hello, WordPress.  I am overwhelmed, underwhelmed.  Here comes some “verbal” processing.  The Lord has been leading me so well, directing my steps as I remain in him.  Here’s an example:

Today I sat in the UU plaza with Caellin and Lyse and got the WORST sunburn of the year  It’s not real cute.  Anyway, we talked about our weekends, and I soaked up all the wisdom I could from Caellin as she explained her experiences of ministry partner development (MPD) to Lyse and I.  Later, after a brief intermission of French literature, I came back to the UU plaza to meet with Megan to talk about support raising for her summer project to Tokyo.  I felt really inadequate talking with her, because I am dealing with so much doubt in the are of the Lord’s provision lately.  To be honest, my emotions feel just like the skin on my back: dry, itchy, burned, uncomfortable.  I’m over-cooked with all of the information that my mind marinates in after a weekend full of good, albeit overwhelming details of MPD.

It turns out that the Lord blessed my conversation with Megan, who brings joy to my life through her willingness to follow the Lord’s call to Tokyo.  Talking with Megan was just what I needed to remember all of the truths the Lord has been teaching me lately about how to trust in him to fight for me.  Deut. 2-3, 1 Kings 17, Philippians 4 just kept coming to mind as we talked.  Towards the end of our conversation, Ashley, a team member from the Invisible Children roadies came to up to us and we talked for a bit about Invisible Children and life.  After a few minutes of chatting, Ashley shared with us about how she recently stayed with a missionary family in Orange County, where she was blown away by the way they lived their lives completely off of financial support from ministry partners.  

I was blown away too.  This story, unsolicited from a complete stranger was a breath of fresh air into my sunburned day.  Thank goodness for aloe vera and encouragement from sisters in Christ.

Ashely is great.  Check out her video….she’s legit:

back

I realize it has been a bit since I’ve written anything on here.  Well, after a little hiatus, I am back.

Most noteworthy:  I went to El Salv last week during my spring break.  It was so good.  I reconnected with friends that I haven’t seen since summer and fell in love once more with this miniscule Central American country.  Spanish came even easier than it did last time.  It was great to work alongside the Stint team and to get to know them more.  As great as it was to be in El Salv with a team of 29 people from Poly, it was really strange to be there without the peeps from my summer project team.  Overall, I loved my week there, and wouldn’t have chosen to spend my money or time any other way.  The Lord has placed a special passion on my heart for the people of this country, and he whispers so gently and clearly into my heart while I am there.  Will the future hold more trips to El Slav? Only my Savior knows.  Needless to say, it was wonderful to be back.

In other news:  school is so lame.  I seriously detest it sometimes.  I used to have this passion for learning and eagerly anticipated the start of a new quarter.  I would listen to my professors in lecture, hanging on their every word, hoping that they would notice my excitement for their classes.  Now I just sit there, ho-hum, watching the seconds tick away on the clock in the back of the room, hoping the professor doesn’t notice how frequently I turn my head and look  backwards to check the time.  I had to buy two tiny (around 200 p) French texts for about $250, and I can’t even really read them (because, let’s face it…I don’t really comprehend French).  I have homework for the first time tonight, and I feel myself growing more and more apathetic towards the text.  In this case, I’m not so happy to be back.

Economics update:  back in the work force.  Double timing.  I’m starting to Nanny for two families here in SLO for just a few hours a week.  Sophia, a 3 year old whose energy is only surpassed by her immense appetite should be a handful. After watching her last night, I had a nightmare that it was my responsibility to put her to bed.  Oh dear.  Cassius, a 3 week old boy is so tiny and so sweet.  I hope I don’t break him when I hold him.  Baby got back.

Forecast: finally submitted my application to Campus Crusade today.  It’s official folks….I’m planning to intern with Crusade here in SLO after I graduate in December.  I am excited/nervous/overjoyed/anxious/shaking in my boots.  Ministry is my passion.  I just love sharing the gospel.  I just fear raising support.  All of your prayers for my heart are appreciated.  I trust a big God for big results.  I really do believe that he loves me, that he has a marvelous plan for my life, and that this plan includes joining staff with Campus Crusade.  After all of this time wandering away from his fold, making my own plans for the future; I’m following his lead as he calls me back.

I guess that’s all for now. My heart hurts today, and I’m not really sure why.  I feel like I’m being refined.  And I feel the tender touch of the Lord as he molds me into his image.  He is protecting me from what could be big time heartache, and yet I still feel the pang of loss as I surrender my plans to him each day.  It is good, hard, stressful, painful, lonely, exciting, satisfying, to be back.

back to el salv

Most of you have already heard that I will be going back to El Salvador with a team from Cal Poly over our spring break.  We are scheduled to leave late on March 20th and will be back on the 28th.  I am so excited to be going back, and even more excited to say that there is a team of close to 30 that is going!  What a blessing!  This will be somewhat of a vision trip, a way for Poly students to get their feet wet and see what ministry in El Salv looks like.  We will be working with the STINT team to share the gospel on some of the same campuses I was on this summer.

We had our first official team meeting on Friday, and I am thrilled about our team.  Jacob and Caellin will be leading the trip, and there will be several other staff members from SLO Crusade joining.  Jacob asked us to go around the circle and introduce ourselves.  We also had to use one word to describe our feelings about the trip to El Salv, and announce our favorite color.  Most used some variant of the word  ”excited” (think stoked, pumped, very excited and VERY VERY excited), which is great.  I said I was “compelled.”  I am compelled to go back.  Please be praying for this enthusiastic group!

In other news, about 2/3 of the team loves the color blue.

We were also encouraged by Caellin to go out sharing on the Cal Poly campus over the next 3 weeks, to get in the swing of campus ministry.  I appreciate your prayers for our ministry here and in Central America…I have already made plans to go out to do Soularium with a friend on mine on Tuesday!  Should be wonderful.

worth the disappointment.

D on my French midterm. I can’t say I’m surprised….I gave up studying to go to June for the weekend. My prof gave this really depressing lecture to our class before he handed the exams back. He kept saying he was how he wasn’t sure how our class was doing so poorly. I just braced myself, and wasn’t too hurt because it turns out my 64% is one percent higher than the median. The worst was that my prof wrote on my exam IN ENGLISH (a big deal for a fool who considers himself too good for it most of the time) the word: disappointing. He drew an arrow on the paper from the word “disappointing” to my work and to the directions for the section. I guess he just wanted to grind it into my brain that I misread the directions. As if I didn’t realize it from my lack of points for the section.  My bad.

Good news though.  This is what I did instead of studying for the better grade:

worth it:

Neruda says “Hay que vivir la vida.”

Prof. Kennelly says: “Restez à la maison et étudiez.”

Who would you side with?

such a good day

Mondays normally aren’t so great, and I have to be honest, mine started out about status quo. However, things took a turn for the better during my discipleship appointment with Caellin this afternoon. Here’s a list of reasons why today was a great day:

1. Decided that I’m going to El Salv. for spring break….last minute, I’ll admit. Am I 5 days past the sign-up deadline? Yes. Yes I am. But I’m still going. I’m stoked.

2. Had a great swim workout with Brook at the Rec Center. I really love working out with my dear friend! I feel this deep, good tired feeling, which is great.

3. Received an email from my French prof this weekend saying that the high score on our midterm last week was 83%, and the average as in the F range. Bummer. I got my exam back today, expecting the worse. I was thrilled to find out I got a 79%. Never have I been so thrilled to get a C.

4.

I may elaborate on #4 at a more appropriate time. Until then, just know its good.

HAPPY MONDAY!
Also, happy groundhog day.

middle school

I’m in ED 300 this quarter, which means I have to get 45 hours of in-classroom observation done by the end of the quarter.  I’m at SLOHS on Tuesday mornings and I go to Laguna Middle School on Thursdays.  I’m trying to get the most out of my experience, so I started taking notes during Mr. Wittman’s class this morning.  

Now, Mr. Wittman is a straight-laced 30 something eighth grade english teacher at Laguna.  He has green plants in the window of his classroom and has posted inspirational quotes on bright paper around the border of the classroom walls.  Such quotes read, “No man is an island unto himself,” and “Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.”  He rides his road bike to school (which, might I add, is the exact same bike that my dad used to ride before he upgraded last summer) and holds a commanding presence in his classroom, standing before his students in impeccably pressed pleated khaki slacks.  

These are the events that unfolded in Mr. Wittman’s class on  Thursday, January 29, 2009.

I sat in Mr. Wittman’s class, pretty bored since he wasn’t really teaching.  I sat in a back row desk and tried not to yawn as I watched the students interact.  Suddenly, Mr. Wittman stood up, walked to the white board and asked the students to define the word “clause.” A student answered promptly and gave a good example.  Next, Mr. Wittman asked for an example of an independent clause.  Here’s the discussion that followed:

Mr. Wittman:  Who can give me an example of an independent clause please? And make it at least PG rated. (I choose to believe that he meant to say AT MOST PG rated….)

Lauren:  I am hungry.

Will: He said AT LEAST PG rated….I am hungry….FOR BLOOD!!!!

Mr. W:  Good.  Now add another independent clause with a conjunctive adjective.

Will:  I am hungry for blood; THUS, I eat a cow!

Mr. W:  Right.  Can someone else give me another example?

James:  Jimmy vivisected a squirrel…..

Mr. W: ;Consequently, he was expelled from school.

Katie:  What does ‘vivisect’ mean?

James: To dissect when its alive!!!

Tess: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Jimmy vivisected a squirrel; consequently, HE WENT TO HELL.  Mr. Wittman!  He went to HELL.

Mr. W:  (doesn’t bat an eyelash) Separation of Church and State.

Samantha:  Do they get numbed first?

Jack:  Of course not!  It’s not a human!

Mr. W:  …and that’s how you make a compound sentence.

———–

I was dying to burst out in laughter.  Jr. Highers are too funny!  Sometimes, life is just so funny you have to record it.  This was one of those humorous moments.  I sat and transcribed the events so that I wouldn’t forget them, and could later relay the story to my dear sweet Brook (We like to take notes of random teacher commentary that we find hilarious).  I was just coming off the brink of bursting out in giggles in Mr. Wittman’s class when a student named Megan looked up at the board.  About 10 minutes had passed, and the students were back to drafting their biological research papers. Megan takes a look at the white board, gasps, and asks, “What does vivisect mean?” James was only so kind as to give another definition.  Megan then almost yelled, “WOW.  That sentence is inappropriate!  Can I erase it?”  Matt, another student then retorted, “It’s not inappropriate, it’s SCIENTIFIC.”

I have a huge respect for Jr. High teachers.  They’re great people.  I tried to stifle my giggles for the remainder of the class, but it was real hard.  I kept looking at the Webster’s Dictionaries placed under each desk.  They are all numbered (for clerical purposes, I’m sure), but most numbers have been scribbled over with a fat black permanent marker that reads 69.  

Ah, Jr. High.