This is an interesting perspective that I read today. Its directed at women who are considering dating or marriage in general. I consider myself to a be a part of its intended audience. Suzanne Hadley (a writer for Focus on the Family’s Boundless webzine for young adults) writes this to single women:
If you can’t picture yourself married within a year, you’re not in a position to date.
Now, that’s serious. Her point is that women and men dilly-dally around with recreational dating and dating for “practice.” We are so guilty of doing so, that we have made it very difficult to pursue Godly marriage in our early 20s. Its so culturally radical for a 21-year-old to ”date with the intention of marriage” (yes, even in Christian communities!).
I used to think that I dated with that intention. But really, I was in no position to marry. Weird that now that I do fall into the category of seeing myself “married in a year” there are no prospects. Single is good for me now, but I would like to be married in a year (can I be frank without sounding desperate?). I think I agree with Suzanne, though it sounds extreme. Dating isn’t really Biblical at all. I mean, there’s no verse that reads “Thou shalt not date until ready for marriage” but it can really be harmful to men and women who have surrendered themselves to the Lord’s will and then can’t find a marriage partner because all of their Christian peers are “test driving” their girlfriends and boyfriends (so to speak).
DISCLAIMER: I don’t mean to say that everyone should just get married to whomever they’re dating. Nor do I mean that we should marry a bf/gf because he or she is just “acceptable.” Be madly in love with the one you marry! Enter marriage with the blessing of the Holy Spirit. Marriage should not be taken lightly, so why do we take dating so lightly? I just mean that we should cut the crap with dating. If you’re in love and in a position to tie the knot, what is holding you back? What are you gaining from waiting around? Girls, check out more by clicking here. Also, this page is the equivalent for guys.
What do you think about Suzanne’s statement? Do you agree? Why or why not? Am I crazy to think she’s right? I would love to hear from you.
