More faithful than the sunrise

This is a post I wrote for the SLO Crusade website.  Finally trying out a little writing again.  I miss it!  Read on to see what the Lord has been teaching me lately:

A couple of weeks ago some friends and I headed up to Sierra Summit for a whirlwind ski/snowboard trip.  It wasn’t you ordinary ski trip, because the Sierra Nevada had just received eleven feet of fresh powder.  Remember when it rained for six days straight in SLO?   That translated to loads of snow in the mountains! Needless to say, we were anxious to hit the slopes after an epic snowfall.

In order to get the most of our day on the mountain, we left SLO at 4:30 in the morning. My brother Pete braved the early morning darkness and drove us off into the black fog of the valley.  After nearly three hours of riding in the car, the sky started to brighten.  We were in the foothills on the eastern edge of the central valley at this point, and I began to make out the jagged teeth of the mountains to the east as the sky grew more rosy.  All at once, with a blinding brightness, the sun burst out from behind its mountain hiding place and our car was filled with golden beams of light.  The power and warmth of the sun blew me away.  Alyssa Nixon was thinking quick enough to snap this photo of the sunrise from the back seat.  It’s a sweet photo, but it really doesn’t capture the glory of the early morning light show.

As my friends and I sat in the glow of sunlight, I started thinking, The sun rises like this every day.  I may not be awake for it, but its always here.  Every single day, whether we see it or not, the beauty of the sunrise exists. As I wondered this simple idea of the faithfulness of the sunrise, the Holy Spirit whispered truth into my heart.  That same week I had been meditating on Psalm 138, thanks to a suggestion from Misty Zeller.  The last verse (verse eight) of the Psalm speaks of the overwhelming faithfulness of God, saying

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;

your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

Do not forsake the work of your hands.”

In the same way that I can expect the sun to rise each morning, the love of the Lord is steadfast.  Unlike the sunrise, the Lord’s love will endure throughout eternity!  I never doubt that the sun will rise in the morning, but often I find myself doubting the faithfulness of God’s love and care for me.  The Holy Spirit used this sweet morning experience to gently remind me of his great love.  Most mornings I’m not even conscious of the sunrise.  Sadly, most mornings I’m equally unaware of God’s faithful love and care for me.  Every single day (even on the really awful days) God’s love is more real than the sunrise, but I go about my day without even acknowledging this great truth.  Check out Lamentations 3:21-24 for more on this truth.  I’m sure that if we could “see” God’s love it would be far more beautiful and breathtaking than a winter sunrise.

If I sat in awe of the beautiful sunrise, how much more would I be compelled to stand in awe and thanks of God’s love as I take it in each day?

The remainder of the day on the mountain with good friends was so much fun, but what I will remember the most from this epic powder day is the reality that we can rest in God’s changeless character.  I am overwhelmed by his goodness and love.

(photo credit:  Adam and Alyssa Nixon)

Sara Kelly, first year intern

in love.

As promised, I want to let you know I see the Lord moving.  Sometimes that’s just in my own life.  While I was praying today, I reflected on God’s unfailingly strong love. Here are a few of my thoughts as I approached the throne of grace:

I remember that feeling of being in love, the feeling that no mundane task could cloud my disposition because there was a hope of love.  A hope of something bigger than the monotony of daily living.  A hope that couldn’t be thwarted because somewhere there was someone who loved me, who romanced me both in and out of his presence.  And I loved him too.  It’s pretty miraculous, when you thing about the way that two beings intermingle in the mutual affection of romance.  If human love, broken and immature, can be this amazing–I can’t even imagine what the love of God is like.  Let me be moved and lifted up by your love. Teach me how to love you, how to let my innermost being intermingle with yours in the mysterious light of the most intimate of loves.  Teach me to dance with you.

Once upon a time, when I experienced human romance, life had this vibrant color to it that I haven’t experience before or since. What if the divine romance is grander, deeper, filled with life and color that we can’t even imagine?

Human romance, who needs it?  Divine romance–let me know that love.

hello blog.

Hello electronic audience.  Its been quite a while since I’ve taken the time to jot down my thoughts.  There are several reasons for this.  First, I have been busy.  Two summer jobs plus support raising didn’t leave me with tons of leisure time, and the support process really just took a lot of energy from me.  By the end of the day, I just didn’t have much left to say.  Secondly, let’s be honest:  It was summer and not a lot was going on in my life.  Nothing worthy of blogging, anyway.  Thirdly, I saw the movie “Julie and Julia” at the beginning of August, and the perspective on blogging presented in the movie was convicting.  Julie’s sweet husband proclaims that blogging is fulfilling because its “all you all the time.”  Wow.  I felt narcissistic  for even having my own piece of the cyber universe here on wordpress.  Take all of these factors combined, and you get an empty blog.

But change is in the air.  Its WOW (week of welcome) here at Cal Poly, which means the air is abuzz with pre-fall excitement and the streets are filled with wide-eyed and (sometimes) inebriated freshman.  What a place.  I love it.  I also love that I have spent the last week with our SLO Crusade staff team planning awesome ways to reach every single student with the love of Jesus.  For the record, I love my job.

There have been several opportunities for me to write.  A few of the things I’ve wanted to write about were: Don Miller’s perspective on singleness, awkward phone conversations that happened while support raising, and all of the tiny miracles that make summer wonderful.  But I’ll do my best to keep you (my friends, family & support team) updated from here on out.  No guarantees on frequency of posts, but I am so very excited to share with you about how this life is unfolding.

on dating:

This is an interesting perspective that I read today.  Its directed at women who are considering dating or marriage in general.  I consider myself to a be  a part of its intended audience.  Suzanne Hadley (a writer for Focus on the Family’s Boundless webzine for young adults) writes this to single women:

If you can’t picture yourself married within a year, you’re not in a position to date.

Now, that’s serious.  Her point is that women and men dilly-dally around with recreational dating and dating for “practice.”  We are so guilty of doing so, that we have made it very difficult to pursue Godly marriage in our early 20s.  Its so culturally radical for a 21-year-old to ”date with the intention of marriage” (yes, even in Christian communities!).

I used to think that I dated with that intention.  But really, I was in no position to marry.  Weird that now that I do fall into the category of seeing myself “married in a year” there are no prospects.  Single is good for me now, but I would like to be married in a year (can I be frank without sounding desperate?).  I think I agree with Suzanne, though it sounds extreme.  Dating isn’t really Biblical at all.  I mean, there’s no verse that reads “Thou shalt not date until ready for marriage” but it can really be harmful to men and women who have surrendered themselves to the Lord’s will and then can’t find a marriage partner because all of their Christian peers are “test driving” their girlfriends and boyfriends (so to speak).

DISCLAIMER:  I don’t mean to say that everyone should just get married to whomever they’re dating.  Nor do I mean that we should marry a bf/gf because he or she is just “acceptable.”  Be madly in love with the one you marry! Enter marriage with the blessing of the Holy Spirit.  Marriage should not be taken lightly, so why do we take dating so lightly? I just mean that we should cut the crap with dating. If you’re in love and in a position to tie the knot, what is holding you back?  What are you gaining from waiting around? Girls, check out more by clicking here.  Also, this page is the equivalent for guys.

What do you think about Suzanne’s statement?  Do you agree?  Why or why not?  Am I crazy to think she’s right?  I would love to hear from you.

gross

It has come to my attention that I wrote a post about food in between two stories about potty training. Thanks for keepin’ me aware, Katelyn!

j potty update

The other day when I was watching J and C, a new development in the J vs. Sawa war on potty unfolded. Here’s how it went down.  I had just positioned myself on the brown sofa, baby in arms, to deliver a much desired bottle to C. He was getting a little on the fussy side (a rarity for him) so I knew it was time to feed.  He took the bottle like a champ.  I was in the middle of patting his sweet, round back in hopes of a burp when suddenly he spit up all over the front of my shirt.  Great.  Oh well…at least infant vomit doesn’t have an odor.

I was still in shock of the spit up when notice J across the room.  He had been stationed at the dining room table (pre feed) to enjoy a snack of “peanut butter crackers” and sliced pears before I sat down to feed C.  I find this an effective sitting technique: feed both children at once, that way I can see the antsy 3 year old while I hold baby C in bottle position on the couch.  It tends to work out for me.

At first, I couldn’t even be sure that I had heard J say something, but the look on his face told me he had made an announcement.  I said, “What J?  I couldn’t hear you.”

The slightest, breathiest whisper escaped his lips: “I don’t have to go.”  Then his face went into number two production mode.  I knew it was on, and it was up to me to race him to the training toilet downstairs. Swiftly, I set C in his swing (didn’t have time to strap him in….don’t call CPS on me por favor) and ran to the table.  J let out a telling grunt as I plucked him from his seat and flew to the bathroom, toddler in hands.  As quickly as possible, I unbuttoned his pants to sit him on the pot.

The stench that escaped his batman underwear told me that I was too late.  To late to intercept the load.  I was bummed, but threw him in the shower for a quick spray down and gave him a fresh pair of underwear and shorts to put on.  Not wanting to appear disappointed or upset with the young boy, I lied through my smile  as I redressed him, “It’s totally ok J.  You’re doing great.  We’ll get it next time.” And miracle of miracles, we did get it next time.  But only because of my boss negotiation skills.  Yesterday, number two was safely deposited in the mini-john.  Hooray!

I do have to give it to the kid.  He sticks to his convictions.  Some may label it “denial” because he said he didn’t have to go poo when he was on the verge of doin’ the doody in his trousers.  But I prefer to call it conviction.  This little dude has learned the American way: stick it to the man, no matter what situation you’re in.  Maybe he’ll learn wisdom and honesty someday.  We can only hope.

big fat experiment

Got this recipe from my mom’s cookbook, entitled Big Fat Cookies.  Tried the “Butterscotch Blondie Marble Cookies” for the first time today.  They were a little bigger and a little fatter than I anticipated. Voila, the result:

 

I’ll proportion them better next time.  They still taste pretty darn good.  Stay tuned to see what I do with the loads of free time I have on my hands these days.

deep seeded fear

I have been blessed with a wonderful baby sitting job for a family here in SLO.  They have two young boys. J just turned three, and is so much fun.  He loves building forts, play dough, and ghost pirates.  C is almost 12 weeks, takes a bottle like a champ, and loves to have dance parties with his older bro.  Needless to say I stinking love them.  They are the best.  Save for one catch.

J, being 3, has naturally reached the threshold for potty training.  His mom reminds him each day as she leaves the house, “J, who are you gonna tell if you have to go potty?”  To which he replies, “Sawa.”  That’s me. 

Turns out that he never actually tells Sawa if he needs to go.  So the responsibility lies with me to constantly ask, “J, do you need to go potty?”  To which the response is infallibly a whiney “I don’t wanna go!”  But at least once I trudge him downstairs to the little, er I mean, “big boy” potty and let him try to go.  I mean, he loses nothing for trying.  He even gets a Pez candy just for squatting on the pot.  Win-win, I say.  He doesn’t think so, though.  

He usually stands, stiff-legged in front of his tiny potty and squeals “NOOOOOOOO.” As I try to calmly coax him into sitting down and just giving a little push.  I kid you not: he is deathly afraid of doo doo.  I have no clue why, but the kid will go days without a #2 sighting and give himself a huge stomach ache.  His mom assures me that this is totally normal for kids his age, but I still have my doubts.  I just feel like a villain each time I have to march him downstairs to give it a try.  Hopefully this phobia subsides soon!

most wonderful time of the year

For some reason, I love June 2. Call me crazy, but I think its one of the best days of the year, and I have absolutely no idea why. Here’s a few of my theories why this random date might be significant to me…

1. When I was graduating the 6th grade, I remember that our celebration/graduation party to move up into Jr. High youth group was on June 2.  I have no idea why I remember this, except that I thought I was the epitome of cool to be in Jr. High. Maybe I’ve learned some things since then.  Also significant about this day…I stepped on a bee in Westdale Park and my foot swelled up so big it couldn’t fit in my shoe.
2. My dear neighbors back home in Bako had their second daughter on June 2, 1998.  I was almost ten, and got to go to the hospital to visit the mama, daddy, and new baby. It was incredible.  I have never seen a baby so new or so perfect. She turned 11 today.  Time flies.
3. I just found out (thank you facebook) that my pastor’s b-day is today…Happy Birthday Bryan!
4. For most of my life, I’ve either been just beginning summer break or so close I can taste it on this date. Its a wonderful feeling to be almost there.  The anticipation is building, and the boredom of summer hasn’t set in yet.
5. It’s my blog’s 1 year anniversary!

And that’s all I can think of for now.  I just love June 2nd.

religion

A lot of people that I’ve met recently have shared with me their frustrations with “organized religion.”  A lot of them have been burned by religious institutions, let down by religious leaders, conned by selfish congregation members.  This is just so saddening to me.  I want to take people who have experienced “church” in this way and bind up their wounds.  I want them to see that the church is a body of broken people, and that we can’t put our hope in anything but Christ! People will let us down, churches will do the same.  My theory is that the hurt is more amplified within the church because its just a whole lot of broken people under one roof.  Let’s strip it down: what does our God think about religion?  What is pleasing to him?  Won’t that be the kind that is most pleasing to us as well?  

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27, NIV)

Light bulb moment…So that’s what God wants?  He wants us to love each other, look after those who can’t provide for themselves.  He wants us to bind together in a community as a “salty” people that preserve his goodness in a crooked and perverse generation.  He wants us to shine out his love like stars in the milky way, that each person that he has created will recognize his goodness and love. As a body of believers, we should give freely, love deeply, act justly, and above all, remain connected to our source, our Heavenly Father.

Now that’s what I call church.